anythin she askd / i woulda done it / woulda
died for my belovd / well maybe not / but ida
done / anythin she wanted / woulda been her
own / the way i thot i waz / for a time / & still
do / sumtimes /(more) til i wake up / & i remember
where i am / & who i am / & who she iz / & how
my yearnin / only hurts me / becuz the one i
want / dont want me back the same / & still
i couldnt stand her not knoin / couldnt live wit
alla my achin treachrous lovin her / & her
not knoin all the whil / so i wrot her / i wrot
my lover evry day / & she red thm / & i kno
becuz she tol me / she tol me how she red / alla
my lettrs / how well i wrot / & she had long ago
divulgd / how she had kept thm all / alla my
notes to her / filed away / safe frm harm / i
tol her secret things / special things / all the
things / i wanted her to see / & just in case
she didnt / in case she didnt see / alla the things
i wanted her to kno / i wd hav to tell her / so
i did / i evn tol her / how i loved her / how divine
she waz to me / & she listnd / & she knew /
becuz id tolder / she knew becuz id tolder so / i
wd do / whatevr she had wanted / & she knew(less)
It feels like it's been years, on the outside. It /has/ been years, but I just saw you again, didn't I? You're worthy of admiration, as always. But it's the first time for you, every time. I'm not sure how I feel about that anymore. I love you. I(more) want to stay with you. I could die for you. I did die, over and over, but... I'm sorry. There are so many things I didn't account for, but that feels like an excuse. I'm sorry I hurt you. Again.
I've seen so many things, now. So many worlds. Under the multitude of starry skies there is one constant - you're not someone who should die. Please believe me. You are the future, always. At least I was right about that from the beginning. I will continue to fight for you, no matter how long it takes. I still have hope, because I chose to have hope. Will is not a fickle thing. I believe. I couldn't not. I believe that this time I'll make you happy. I'm sure of it. Wait for me.
(If I could have one request, I'd like to stay by your side... Wherever, whatever, it doesn't matter.
I was going to write a story about a guy that is in love with this girl that only comes in the summer and how each year he tries to improve and each year he fails and realizes no matter how good he looks, how fit he is, how(more) smart and social he becomes, he hasn't changed a bit. It was going to reflect life's insecurities and the theme was that improvement shouldn't be the real goal and only for insecure people. But then I realized nobody cares and I don't care about my own writing and that this was just me trying to improve my writing, and become better than myself like the guy in the story.
I realized it doesn't matter and doesn't bring me joy. I would only be happy if others would recognize me for my skill and that means I'm not doing this for me I'm doing it for my pathetic image. That means I have to stop writing. I'm done. Whatever.(less)
"You mean I can make anything here?" Corvus asked. He had seen strong magic before, done a lot of it himself, and while the Dark Forge, if that's where this really was, seemed impressive in a lonely sort of way, he wasn't sure if it would live up to(more) the claims that he had heard. Forging weapons of world slaying power...could that be done on this dismal little planetoid?
The Smith laid one of his massive hands atop the polished surface of the lone anvil that seemed to be thrusting its way up out of the dark rock. "You can make whatever you wish," he said. "For a price." The anvil seemed to shine a little brighter at those words. Its surface was smooth, and didn't look like someone had ever pounded on it with a hammer. It was so glossy it reflected the stars perfectly, almost like...Corvus blinked to clear his eyes. The Forge was confusing his sight. For a moment it had seemed like the reflected stars were not reflections at all, but were INSIDE the anvil.(less)
"Whatever," the mantra of the teenage years was never something that affected Anora Avalon. Sure, sometimes she thought it and thought it loudly but she knew that it was a product of hormones and not really something that she should ever let past her lips.
The only time sh(more)e ever actually uttered the word was with her brother Adrian, he thought he was more worldly than her and was forever trying to tell her what to do. They teased each other about it. He would tell her that he was older and so she should respect him.
In return she told him that he was older by five minutes and she highly doubted that he had gained any valuable life experience in that span of time. He would tell her that at the end of it he had gained the most precious piece of knowledge on earth. The knowledge that he would never be alone on this earth. The he world grab her and bear hug her until she was laughing and tickling him in return.(less)
"Well, we're fresh out of 'whatever' so you might have to pick something else."
"I'm fine with anything, okay?"
"You say that, but I'd rather not spend two hours watching you push food around your plate as you(more) expend more energy being passive-aggressive about my cooking than the amount it'd take to discern what the hell you want to eat."
"Well, who's asking you to watch? It's not like I need goddamn babysitter."
"Current evidence would indicate otherwise. How much have you eaten today?"
"What does it matter!?"
"An apple. A bag of chips. A pack of gum. Want to know what you ate yesterday?"
"What the hell, how do you even-"
"A bowl of cereal! An orange! And that was after a ten hour shift!"
"Look, I'm not some self-conscious high-school cheerleader so you can just-"
"I know it's not about weight! You think I haven't noticed? You barely even touch food anymore, you do nothing other than sleep and work and you never seem to notice that you're, I don't know, passively killing yourself, apathetically removing yourself from life bit by bit, you just-!"
"H-hey, are you..?"
"Look, I'm sorry. I'm not doing this on purpose. It's not like I'm trying to starve myself or anything, I'm just, I dunno, not hungry."
"I'm tired. All the time. And food just sort of seems secondary, for some reason."
"I get that, I really do. But sometimes you have to force yourself to be healthy, you know?"
"I just want you to take care of yourself."
"It hurts, waking up just to see dinner in the trash."