Today is shit and this is already a fact at 2 am., 4 a.m, 5 - whenever the brain has a hiccup and wakes up, gasping for air the way it happens in sleep lately. Heart feeling too fat. Body breaking down, not that anything can be proven in(more) medical tests.
Wake up and the first thing one feels is exhaustion. Another day of 'no.' Saying 'no' all day until finally it is easier to not. When will it end? That terrible fight, and always giving in. If the fight could be won for one day, all of everything would change for the better. It is the fact of *one more day* that kills, every day.
Another day of wanting to dream while the eyes are still closed to the light. That terrible waking-up time. Yesterday still hurting, and today already breathing down the neck saying 'Open, open, open your eyes.'
A day being born where the jaw is aching for everything it let pass through the gates; stomach taut with nausea - yesterday's hungers still stagnating, like a clogged drain.
Own worst enemy. You dress together, eat together, meet each others eyes in the mirror. You barely know each other. It has come to this.(less)