Straight brown hair. Large green eyes. Red lines in the whites, possibly over-stressed.
My hand quickly slammed down ENTER on the keyboard in front of me.
(more) Air special effects blew past me as her virtual chair was rotated out, and I observed the young man rotating in.
Smiles. Large white teeth. No gums showing in smile. Lips could use some chap-
Another whoosh of wind. I must've hit enter this time without even realizing it.
You're probably wondering what is going on. To an extent, so am I.
Tthe layoffs at the news blog I write for have made my life incredibly hectic - being the only credible online journalist on the Kardashian twitter beat will do that. I work 22 hours a day, thanks to the presciption Efficizipan I've been given as a perk for taking on the responsibilities of the 50 journalists laid off this year. With my 1-hour of high-efficiency sleep simulation, that leaves me with very little time to spend on something as romantic and meaningful as normal speed dating.
So, my friend Amanda recommended Giga-Speed Dating to me. She said she's copulated 3 times in the last 20 minutes with it.
The process starts by injecting an amphetamine chip into your forehead. You log onto the website, create an account and profile hologram and boom - suddenly you're shifting through holograms of other "hot singles" in your living block, all tired of the speedy meth scene, looking for meaningful copulation.
My eyebrows twitched from another jolt of stimulant, and I felt my pants tighten a bit as the rush from the amphetamine flooded my body.
No wonder my hand was acting solely on visual cues! The drug had removed any emotional distractions from the dating process.
I admit, I think I'm feeling a little giddy.(less)