I thought when I came out of the mountains I'd be a whole new guy, but instead I was just the same with a few photographs in tow. Memory baggage.
The idea that you can run away and become someone new has become bullshit to me. The traumas,(more) the heartbreaks, the daily stresses are going to stick with you no matter where you go to run. Mountain peaks, sand dunes, wide prairies leading to a barn your future self built. Generous hideaways, but even they can't shield you from the memories you've sown.
Instead I found myself staring at 30 square miles of sand thinking about how small we all are. Might as well be atoms in the gram scheme of things. No, smaller. Once you divide down to that point the sadness seems less immediate, more distant. There you are in the moment waiting for, what, exactly? Salvation? No. I don't think there is salvation in this life or any presupposed next.
All you can do is make the best out of what you've got. If what you've got is 6 grams of weed and a sure thing laying on your bed, then I guess that's an easy call to make. But it isn't. It finishes and you sit up in the bed stoned off your ass and wondering how you got there in the first place.
So you sit on that hillside, at the miles of sand, and you let your thoughts blow away with the wind. Maybe, like the dunes, all you need is time. The memory baggage will pile up, but pieces will blow away.
It's sad, but it's something. Sometimes it helps to let time make your decisions for you, because you know where your conscious mind always leads.(less)
Keith broke out at a run, past Lance, and straight into Shiro's arms. Shiro's hair had grown long and unkempt, the trailing ends tied into a loose tail that vanished into the thick material of his cloak. He wore a week's worth of scruff on his face(more) and the most baffled expression Lance had ever seen as he looked down at Keith in his arms. Lance's hands tightened on his blaster rifle, although its muzzle was still pointed down at the soil under their feet.
"Keith?" Shiro said, and his voice, so familiar, so /missed/ sent a shiver down Lance's spine. "What are you doing here!?"
"I thought I'd never see you again," Keith said, choking on the words, his hands fisted tight in the material of Shiro's cloak. Lance's heart was in his throat and he swallowed around the lump it created even as Keith lifted his head slightly, looking back over his shoulder at Lance imploringly.
Shiro had tentatively draped his arms over Keith, that look of confusion melting into a gradual wonder. Then his attention drifted back up to Lance, and the bayard in Lance's hands. Lance felt a prickling sensation creep down his back, something wasn't right. Something was very, very wrong.
It was all in the way that Shiro was looking at him now, concern and wariness and he had his arms around Keith but he didn't open them to Lance, too. They had been looking for so long, and Lance should have run straight to Shiro just as Keith did, but instead he hesitated. Instead, Lance took a deep breath, steadying himself but even so he still wasn't prepared, there was no way he could have been prepared for /this./
"Who are you?" Shiro asked, and it was like the world fell away.(less)