Sometimes I feel like I have this insatiable desire to do something creative.
And I don't know if it's creative with my words or with my ideas or with my body, but that last one.
The body one.
That's the one I can rely on the most.
(more)
I get this feeling. I have it now.
It comes upon me like a slow boiling up into my belly. Starts in my toes and moves up through both legs into my pelvis and up through my hands and head and sometimes,
...sometimes nothing comes of it.
Sometimes I feel this feeling,
if you can call it that.
This feeling that I should, no...MUST release this.
This feeling.
I go for the pen but can think of nothing to write.
My thoughts are rushing and racing yet, blank and blurred all at the same goddamn time.
So then I look to my drawing pad.
Seeking inspiration from a song or a poem or even something as simple as a name to draw up and release this feeling. But again.
Nothing.
And then there it is. My body.
One entity so organic and me and I don't have to think I just have to do.
To have the pleasure that can't be afforded to me through any amount of stimulating technology.
I feel around and I search and plead for this feeling to be released and I know.
Oh yes, I know.
I know that in a one-two-three circular stroke of my delicate practiced fingers I can have the relief and go on with my day and I don't have to think or try.
Just feel.
Feel with my body, since my mind and my heart can't connect.
Only my body will do me good.
Only my body can feel. (less)