It was unusual for Shiro to come home from work and not find Lance starfished out on the most comfortable available surface, but not so strange that it threw up any alarms. He pulled his shirt off and tossed it in the laundry pile by the bed, and opened(more) the door to the bathroom, where he froze in place.
There was a fat baby seal laying in the bathtub.
The seal looked up at Shiro and barked, slapping its tail against the water remaining in the tub, and Shiro slowly closed the door.
He knew the size of seals very well now, and that definitely wasn't Lance, familiar patterning on his coat notwithstanding. After a moment, Shiro cracked the door open again, and the baby seal eyed him suspiciously. Once again, Shiro closed the door.
"Lance!" he yelled, although the cabin was small enough that his husband couldn't hide easily.
He stood on the porch with his hands on hips and glared at James's truck as it rumbled up the overgrown gravel drive. "I've been trying to call you," he said, as James threw the truck into park.
"Sorry," James said. "My cell phone got, uh." He glanced over his shoulder, and sighed. "Eaten."
"Where's Keith? Have you seen Lance? Do you have any idea," Shiro gestured at the cabin behind him, "why there's a baby seal in my bathtub?"
"Yeah," James said. "Hang on."
He dropped the hatch on the pickup and a small black ball of fur unfolded, ears alert and tongue hanging out the side of his mouth.
"You have got to be kidding me," Shiro said, as James picked up the wolf pup. He looked back at the cabin. "So that's actually..." he pushed his prosthetic hand back through his short hair and exhaled. "Well, /fuck/."(less)