I AM LOST. The poster is up on poles around the neighborhood. I AM LOST. And a picture of a chihuahua looking into the camera from a nest of blankets. A record of a happy day. The owner probably did not imagine it would turn into the photo best(more) suited for the I AM LOST poster.
(In lower case: $2000 reward, no questions asked. )
Even going out to the corner market makes me irritable; I am in a spell where my own home seems enough for me. Blinds drawn, radio off. It is more than enough.
Outside what is there? Indifferent traffic, rain, posters saying announcing what is LOST. Cash registers sitting open to receive my last $20. Cheese, apples, bread and a box of strawberry ice-cream, a brand I've not seen anyplace other than the corner store. And the newspaper.
I read the paper dutifully, eating a bowl of ice-cream which doesn't feel bad for me since it is the most solid thing I can hold down. How can it hurt me? The mouthfuls melt away before reaching the bottom of my throat.
I pay special attention to the obituaries. I have worked in enough care homes and hospitals around the city to know a lot of people. I read the obituaries so I can look out for them.
If someone dies, I feel I want to know. It is a way of looking after them, even when they are no longer in my life. This seems an important part of caring. The after part. How you still ought to care, even when things are out of your hands.
I look through the photos taken on birthdays, at reunions or parties. People smiling happily into their own epitaphs and not knowing it.
tell me what makes you generic, how do you fit in with the groups? now say it louder, what brand are you, what 'side' are you from, scream out your conformity in a world where normal is the key word. yell your 'personal slogan' out with the rest of(more) them. take the call to arms that is broadcast by pop divas and 'original g's'.... but when you got to sleep, rest your head on your pillows and silently remind the world that you are yourself, and that you are at peace, and I'll know that you are better than the rest of them.(less)