After the truth came out she was recast in a new light. She didn't feel like she fit in the world anymore - the stream of everyday life didn't sweep her along. She didn't float, she sank. She couldn't breathe. Her own conscience strangled her; time sat like a(more) weight on her lungs. She counted the years left to go.
She didn't have resolve. She would keep hurting herself - over & over, making the wrong choices - and one day it would be terminal.
Until then, she pushed the limits. The tint of opinion made her ugly. She spent less and less time alone in her thoughts, she could not stand to be alone with herself.(less)