I need solitude.
I've spent months stuck in somebody else's mind.
Coffee orders and washing skirts and combing my hair just to lose sleep.
And because of this I slumber, underneath the depths of my pillowcase and sheets, until the stars have surrounded me many times over,
I wake(more) up but nothing has changed. Nothing is better.
She's stretched with her back across her desktop, shamefaced and bright red, frantically clicking with a mouse she can't see. As far as he can tell she is very definitely missing whatever she's trying to close.
She's also not really covering the screen very well.
"I..! I only read it for the plot!" She blurts out, resorting to just tipping the monitor over. He winces at the impact. "Actually, it's really not that kind of thing... you just kind of, uh, caught it right at when the two guys were..!" With a strangled noise of distress she hides her face in her ridiculously oversized sleeves in a flurry of inarticulate blithering. She tends to do that when trying to find a pocket dimension in her sweater big enough to hide in.
"So, I was just coming to tell you that pizza's here." She nods, still not giving up her search. "And, uh..." stepping gingerly around her, he sets the overturned monitor upright once more. "It gets way better when they get rid of the love triangle in chapter ten. You might want to read that one in more of a private place, though."
She's still gawking at the door when he comes back with her slice five minutes later.(less)
He wished it, he got it. He's on a sunny, peaceful and quiet island, sitting in the soft golden sand, in front of the deep blue pacific, on which we could see the reflection of the bright sun. But more precisely, he was alone. He never thought it could(more) happen. Finally a moment for himself, yet not like he wished.
Suddenly, a loud bang echoes on the mountain. The plane. All his memories come back to him. The storm, the wind, the thunder. Then, the plane starting to drop in altitude. The small moment of panic, and black.
Then he woke up, lost in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
"Lets take this in a positive way!" He shouts "The president of United States alone, it doesn't happen all the time!"
She stands by herself,
distanced from the girls
that says "we're friends,"
then leave her alone with
her lunchbox in her arms.
(more) She doesn't mind, she's fine
with being alone. She's fine.
And she's not saying that
because she actually feels
alone. It's true, she's fine.
She feels fine. She's fine.
It's a bit lonely but it's
all a-okay, all handy dandy.
She picks up a piece of her
food. She eyes it carefully.
The food eventually goes
into her mouth anyways,
regardless how she feels
about the item. She chews.
Every chew, she feels more
and more disgusted.
Disgusted at what?
This food, those friends,
this school, even herself.
Too much people, she then
realizes to herself. Too much.
For several days, there has
been way too much activity,
way too much interactions.
Someone who wants to be alone;
Someone who needs solitude.
Top Pot Doughnuts needs solitude. The shelf on the wall holding up all of my useless shit probably needs solitude, too. Ask me again who needs solitude! Alone is best and it's damn easy too for those of you who have spent their lives embracing the solidarity of insolitude.(more) Reach deep into the mine, harvest the loss. Silly typists trying to make something of yourselves on this gimmick. You are the ones in need of Solitude. (less)
Under all the shouting and name-calling and accusations of lack of patriotism, the child whose words sparked the debate beckoned me to lean in and hear what she has to say. It was as good enough an excuse as any to get away from the bickering of the adults(more) at the table. I got down upon one knee and cupped my ear to listen. I had expected questions about the various hand gestures which had been made by her parents and aunts and uncles, or even a request to help seek out a missing shoe, but I received neither. No, what I heard instead was the laughter of a child who understands what it means to make people angry and who takes delight in witnessing the commotion it has caused. It reminded me of two important things: that children are abominable and that holidays are better spent alone than with the scoundrels who make up my family.(less)
When the heart stops beating, it drains till there's nothing.
When people undergo surgery, they come out a bit different. They walk funny for a while. We often have to remind them of why they are there. I like to think that while the amnesia put them under(more), some wandering ghost took up the body, and I'm helping them get used to it. Telling them how to pretend to be alive again.
This new town smells tacky. Too many fake smiles from strangers, too many churches, too few hospitals. Good place for business.
I can say that my trade is rather uncommon. But because of that, there's plenty of work. Most girls want to be fashion models or photographers or men. But I wanted to be a doctor. I liked the idea of taking a human being, and see what makes them tick inside.
The most important thing I've learned in 8 years of college, is that if there was a god, she was a terrible engineer. Our job is simply to correct her mistakes.
That's what Dr.Frankenstein did, made the perfect man. Intelligent, strong, huge. But ignorance called the god a monster, and threw Frankenstein out of society.
And here I am, in the middle of nowhere. Without a degree, and probably wanted in at least 6 states. The thing is, I'm still the best doctor out there, and there are always people willing to pay money for under the freezing metal table operations. Teenage girls want abortions. Immigrants want whiter skin. Murderers masks.
I would be lying if I said I hadn't tweaked my face quite a bit. It was nessary to find... Solitude.
Annika shuts the bedroom door gently, cups her hand against her forehead and over her tired eyes. It’s been a long day, and the trials behind her leave her now feeling exhausted. She runs her fingers through her already thoroughly mussed hair. Her eyes focus on the king sized(more) bed that dominates most of the room, and the prospect of falling into it and relaxing beneath her downy comforter leaves her feeling anticipation rather than dread for the first time all day. She exhales through her mouth, half expects to hear the stream of breath hit the floor with a clang.
Eyes closed, Annika pictures the new girl who just started working at her office. She has dark hair and a full mouth, and every time that mouth opens Annika feels her body tense. In the short amount of time they've been co-workers, Annika’s already been trained to expect something rage-inducing more often than not when the new girl opens her mouth. Shannon, her name is, and she annoys the shit out of Annika. Part of it is just natural. In whatever setting the two of them met in, they were going to butt heads. They’re similar and different in just the right ways. Part of it has to do with the fact that Annika’s temperament inclines her toward obsessiveness, and right now she can’t stop thinking about how much she hates Shannon, ruminating upon it, picking at it like a festering wound, even when she isn't around. It isn't Shannon’s fault, and Annika knows it, feels a bit shameful over the fact that she can’t let go.
Annika throws herself into her soft bed. When she looks up at the white ceiling, she sees Shannon staring back at her. (less)
Why I love the Internet and Why That Is A Problem:
Internet surfing is a slightly more interactive version of watching TV. The primary difference between the two, and the chief attraction for me, is the bottomlessness of the internet. Even the best subscription tv services have only a(more) few hundred channels to choose from whereas the internet is practically infinite in its offering. Internet surfing is a more solitary experience. I've never heard of several people surfing the internet at once where with tv it is commonplace for two or more people to watch together, even preferable. As one who needs solitude, I find I can spend hour after hour in aimless clicking, caught in the private and endless library that I find online. (less)