The ceiling above rumbled as if lightning had struck right overhead, leaving in its wake a loud continuous roar. Only there wasn't lightning, instead it was a passerby, possibly on his way home, the park, or maybe the store; it didn't matter. Dressed in shorts and a blue tee;(more) that didn't matter either. All he wanted to do was be an upstanding citizen, report the so called fugitive the TV had only told him had to be found, imprisoned, and hanged. So like any good citizen, he promptly pulled out his phone to contact the local authorities.
The fugitive ran and ran, not even his breath could keep up with his momentum. Sirens howled in the distance, creeping in on him at an alarming pace. He had to find a place to hide, fast.
He approached an abandoned factory, its exterior decomposed by the perfect mixture of time and weather. Splinters of red metal extruded randomly from the outside walls. The sirens now only within a kilometer of him, he had no choice but to hide within the tetanus infected structure.
Not far within one of the loading docks he found a small alcove, with a ladder retreating into the artificial caverns below. He hastily piled crates of forgotten cargo along the small indention, until his adrenaline soaked brain was satisfied. He receded into his crude mockery of camouflage, down into the ground below the docks, and waited.
Finally the thunder hit in the form of boot-steps, each pounding free the dust from the surface above. The thunder would occasionally dispersed, only to be rejuvenated again and a again. He sighed in relief that the dispatcher sent out the stupidest, yet most persistent, cops in the force. It was going to be a long night.(less)
"You know, a recess, niche, nook, cranny, secluded space. Goddamn alcove. Take her there." The man was a merriam-webster.
"I seriously doubt just the fact of being in a secluded area will cause this woman's loins to water." I replied, my logic flawless and co(more)mpletely unsupported.
"Look, she's like, 22. She doesn't know shit from fuck in the way of seduction and furthermore, her loins are perpetually moist. We're not dealing with those forty year old travel agents you drunkenly fucked on the job in Florida."
That was a low-blow. "Hey. I'm a different man now. I haven't touched a drink nor a woman over 30 in over a year."
"That's your problem. Your penis hasn't touched a woman in over a year." No comeback, that's true. "I'm trying to get you back. The old you. The 12-hour sex marathon you. The you that fucked 3 girls in one night-"
"One of those doesn't count."
"Who fucking cares she was 17? You didn't know! She had already fucked two of your roommates! By the way, have you had any itching, or redness down there?"
"I fucking hate you." I had to think about that one, "No." Thank God that's true.
"Excellent! You got off easier than the rest of us. She still think's you're the best she's ever had, by the way."
"I know. Stop reminding me."
"That's a good thing. You're good. This girl wants your D. You need to assuage her yearnings. You've always wanted to help people, right? That's why you went into education, right?"
He had a point there. He handed me a condom. Trojan EZ Lubed. My old standby.
"This is my condom, which will be given to you, for her, so that Dickings may be given."