Apartments by train tracks sound
already like a trope. You can picture your own
sadness there, with your own
full ashtrays and collections of unfinished projects
like the cliche of dishes in the tiny sink.
This one was mine, and I, of course
(more)
made it worse with my never leaving.
The best day was finding, on the top shelf,
on a dusty plate, some rumors of Flagstaff's
oldest dirt weed. That right there was my evening.
Cable was free and with that I was set.
You can maybe put yourself there
on my greif futon if ever you took
ringers out of phones or
maxed out a credit card on cigarettes.
You can see the quality of it. If you ever
wore regret down to tangibility and ran
your fingers over it like a sculptor
attempting to perceive its doneness.
If ever you gave up on sex,
gave up on work, gave up on friendship
because things seemed to be easier that way,
then you were there with me
professionally miserable, nowhere
near bottom. That would come later,
after many worse decisions, and
a few good ones. (less)