the choice is subconscious but essentially mine. there were no whispered promises, no angry threats. it was as natural as breathing, following you. like a shadow in the bright sunlight, i'll be there, faithful until the light itself runs out. i may be weak at times, overwhelming at others.(more) i may be spotted only out of the corner of your eye or a stark contrast on the ground in front of you. wherever i am, no matter how faint or forceful my presence, i will be there, following you.(less)
wehenever i turned around, all i could see was darkness, a shadow of some sort. These days, it never really bothered me, it had been with me for 8 years, since i was 6 years old. It first appeard on novern 23rd,(more) my birthday. It was around 4am, and i woke up in a cold sweat. i was breathing heavily, heart pounding. i didnt understand what was happening, it had never happened before, i had never woken up through the night. i slowly pushed myself up so i was in a sitting postion. I looked out the window, the moon was low in the sky, and the slight pink colour had begun at the horizon. It would start to get light soon.
I sat there for a moment, wondering why i had woken up in such a state. I coundnt remember anything that may have startled me into waking up. i never remembered my dreams, ever.
I leaned myself back into my bed, and under my blankets, and tried to close my eyes, but i wasnt tired anymore. My eyes were closed for a long time, but i couldnt go back to sleep, i could barely close my eyes now.
I got up, to walk around the house, and maybe go into my parents room. I tried to keep my footsteps quite as i walker down our hallway, into my parents room. Their door was locked, why was it locked? i giggled the handle for a few minutes, until the lock finally came loose, i quickly opened the door and walked steadily to their bed.
They wernt there. I turned around
It was there.
I was scared of it at the time, and i still am today
Following you. Almost sounds like falling for you. And maybe those are the one and same thing; following and falling for someone who inevitably has a long string of followers that have fallen for you too....
Following you. Into a deep abyss of abrupt conversations, sudden compliments, cheesy jokes(more) and cheesy smiles. Was it worth it to follow someone that would only ever look at you as a friend?
Following you. Falling for you. Since the damn seventh grade, and now I'm not so sure. What's it like to follow a potential lover? To follow a potential loss?
Was it worth it? Is it worth it?
I guess I'll only find out...
by following you. (less)
I remember you held me as I learnt to ride a bike
You showed me how to kick a ball
And even though you grew tired of my constant failures
Never stopped encouraging me to seek education
You evolved your discipline methods
Pinches, slaps,(more) sticks, belts, grounding and talking
Not wanting to be like you
Hating every time you put a belt to my youthful mind
Mind full of mistakes full of misdirected energy
Your guidance, your love your patience
You tried to teach me how to fix cars
I wanted to teach you how to be a father
You showed me that saving for a rainy day is important
I wondered why you couldn’t buy me stuff to elevate my social status
We had strained conversations
Mostly about my grades and behavior
Now I am a grown man and with our weekly conversations
I realize how a lot like you I have become
I have never stopped following you.
My father. My pride. My role model. My life
Down the forest trails, and up the mountain paths
Across the ocean wide, I would follow you.
Until the last stars blinks out; until the last heart stops,
Until the last 'I Love You' is uttered, I would follow you.
When you look back down the road, past th(more)e house that we called home.
Over the lain with the little picket fence, and across the garden patch,
You will see me following along, now matter how far or how long.
Until you turn to me and say you want to part, I will always give you my heart.
Don't you see with your eyes, as you look up into the bright blue sky?
That my love will close the distance between us until it is gone.
That my dear, is why I will always follow you.(less)
You will not let her die in vain, your mother who fought to protect you. Who was brave, was selfless. You hear her words and his, following you, calling to you. "Be brave... Be brave." You walk towards the soldiers standing like dolls with a gun in your hand(more) and their words in your ears. With a dauntless grin, you raise your hand in greeting, knowing they cannot see but liking the power you feel. Brave. In control. As you lower your hand, the gun finds its way into your grip and you start unleashing your grief. (less)
As ponderous as cliches can be, I often find myself in situations that warrant them to be true. For example, when I was a child I couldn't tell you how many times I heard people say, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." A silly notion to be(more) sure, and I paid the idea no serious attention until recently.
I had just begun my secondary-education at Lycoming College, a small liberal arts school situated in mid-Pennsylvania. This was my first real venture away from home in Massachusetts, and although the obvious feelings such as excitement and fear did exist, I was surprisingly captivated by my access to vast amounts of food.
Your past follows you around like a ghost, influencing every decision you make. Each second brings a new version of yourself into existence and every past copy whispers in your ear, directing you one way or another. I had grown up in a very health conscious household, our closests and fridges were brimming with fresh fruit and vegetables. Processed sweets and salty products were absolutely unknown in our kitchen.
Despite my parents' best efforts I developed quite the sweet tooth over the years. When I first arrived at Lycoming I enjoyed all manners of delectable desserts. White-chocolate macadamia cookies to exotic Italian gelatos.
As the weeks dragged on my past caught up to me. A person doesn't change so easily, even in the throws of utter debauchery. My binge on sweets slowly came to a head and my diet became far simpler, the cornerstone of which was an apple alongside my breakfast every morning. I didn't have the old cliche in mind three years ago when I began what became a tradition; the apples were simply the least bruised fruit. I confess; I haven't seen the doctor since.(less)
There's a dank cloud hovering just behind you. You can't see it? I have been watching it as it follows you. The bright smile of yours that I behold is betrayed by your cloud. Darkness seeps from it, punctuating every sentence of yours with an ellipses, a quiet ache(more) of yours that begs to be soothed. But you, my friend, are the soother, never the soothee. Your cloud follows you two, sometimes three, steps behind at all times. Others can see it too, if they tried hard enough. All they have to do is look beyond your eyes and this accumulation of hurt and regret, sadness and betrayal will be as plain as day. But no one looks that closely do they? Why would they? They see your beauty, the sunshine radiating from your pores, the gleam of happiness in the corner of your smile. They see that, why on earth would they want to look deeper? But I look deeper, deeper than you'd think. And I want to soothe thee, and thine dark cloud. I want to help keep your darkness at bay, and to make your sun shine through, not just as a farce but as you truly are. I want to rid you of all the terrible thoughts that follow you, to cleanse you of the cloud. Now, darling, will you take my hand and allow me the honor of following you?(less)
You can barely hear the muted crunching and shuffling of footsteps breaking thick snow behind you.
Of course, you know who it is. It's always the same one person. He's been following you since - oh, he's been following you since before you even learned how to toddl(more)e around. And after such a long time, it seems he's the only one who still follows you.
Though you rather want to turn - to see his face - you don't. You keep your view firmly ahead, staring at the peaks of mountains in the distance and the stretches of snowy planes.
When you feel a hand reach out to gently stroke the back of your hair, you swallow roughly and close your eyes. He doesn't touch your hair for long before his hand drops back down.
There's more muted crunching as he sits down somewhere behind you in the snow. "Sit with me?" He asks, his voice gentle as if trying not to scare a feral animal.
You consider his offer briefly, keeping your gaze steadily on the long stretch of white in front of you while you mull it over.
In front of you, there are no people, nothing but snow, ice, and rock. There is the ever-present cold.
Behind you, there is someone who loves you fiercely and always has. Someone who would still sit with you, someone who even makes you feel... warm.
The choice is easy. You turn around, and settle down on the ground.
You will not follow another's lead for long, but for now you are content to sit in the snow with a man who loves you and listen to him speak of petty things.
When he falls asleep in the snow, you will leave no trace of yourself behind and run away.(less)
You were older than me, and never let me forget it. We looked alike though we never would admit it. We even acted alike. All because of my unconscious attempts to be like you, my big sister, whom I've always admired. I followed you. Your actions, your attitude towards(more) people, what you wore, your interests. I've always tried to be like you even when we were at each other's throats. For years now I've known what I've been doing. Not like in the beginning when I used to think we would always fight, and never become the friends we ended up as. Today I'm still following you. You and your children, along with your husband. I've followed you out of this church. I've followed you into this eerie field of stone slabs, up to a rectangular hole in the ground. This time I know I can't follow you. You will go farther, and I will stay here with the quick. I am first to have this clump of soil follow you. Now I don't want to leave you. I want to keep following you. You can't just leave me like this. You've hurt me with your actions. I am too determined. I have to follow you again soon.
I always thought I'd get to you faster. Six years were too many. Now that I can be with you again, I find you've been following me. It's my turn again. I can be following you.
The ghosts of my past follow me everywhere
Pictures on the wall, the shadows over there
These persistent things never cease
They even haunt me in my dreams
Your cries I hear, my beloved dear
(more) Those I heard as I watched life as I knew
It, succumb to darkness, along with you
Every life I have ever really known
Has ceased to exist, except my own
Forever haunted am I, in a living hell
These four walls are my prison cell
The entities have tainted my soul until no more
Does the light shine from within my core
I know my happy days are never to be again
For these ghosts shall follow me, til the very end.(less)
Pitch black. Just the way I like it. I hook in and slowly start to drop. The wall is moist, lots of moss too. This place must be thousands of years old. My headlight doesn't hit the other side. The whole place sounds like a(more) giant breathing. Plop. My feet finally hit solid ground.
Plop. Plop. Plop. I hear the rest of the team drop down. I get out my flashlight. Still can't see 4 feet in front of me.
"This is our big break, guys. Never again will we have to fight for another funding. A place virgin of light. We should be able to find a few new species here, and we can name them after ourselves. The cave itself, we'll name it something special. Didn't the natives call it "Rena Da'ovi"? But I guess that's too long. These people don't know the treasure they have here. Told us there was nothing, no one even bothered exploring it. Not the brightest when it comes to natural wonders, eh?"
The cave mocks me with my echo.
Did they lose me? I grab my safety whistle and blow as hard as I can. Nothing. I couldn't have gone to far, they were right behind me. They dropped down with me. I heard them, right?
I can't tell where it's coming from. The left, the right? Plop. Something hits me. It's sticky, where's my flashlight?
Plop. Plop. Plop. Coming from the ceiling, I think. My headlight is gone. Now there are more of them on me. They feel almost warm. I try to pull one off, and something gives off a very small hiss. Then a very big bite.
I think I will call this species "Giant Cave Leaches". Perhaps not creative, but instead rather appropriate. (less)
"Uhm! I didn't, I mean, I wasn't really thinking-"
The older girl lets out a laugh. "That wasn't an accusation hun, just wondering if you've got somewhere to go."
With a blush she adverts her gaze, staring at a fixed poin(more)t somewhere on the ground. "I'm sorry, it's not like I'm in any trouble or anything. I was just having so much fun talking to you that I guess I didn't really notice... if I'm being annoying, I can go away!" Her eyes are closed tightly in determination, bracing herself for the crushing blow of certain rejection. As always, she screwed up and drove yet another potential friend away. She was too weak, too clingy, never someone worthwhile, just useless useless useless...
But instead of hearing the much-deserved admonishments, she feels a feather-light brush of another hand carefully slipping into hers. A strangled, flustered sound escapes her mouth as her eyes pop open, her pulse resonating with a deafening echo between her ears. "Fugnwuh!?" she asked articulately.
"You're really cute, y'know. You're charming, intelligent, insightful... I don't think I've met anyone I've liked more than you." Her smile is blindingly affectionate, so much so that she has to turn away - it was just too much, this unabashed adoration.
"I... I don't want to deceive you. I'm cowardly and I let people push me around, I never speak my mind and I'm not really good at anything in particular, I'm clumsy and dense..!"
/I'm not good enough to stand by your side/
In response, the hand tightens ever so slightly.
"You're human, is what you are." Her companion is smiling so earnestly it almost hurts, it does hurt, and she feels the pain of a mending heart. "Come on, I've got ice-cream in the fridge."(less)