Doesn't it bother you
how unambitious you are
she asked me as I sat there
waiting for the dopamine to kick in.
Meanwhile the clouds from a thousand half lives
(more) begin to roil
frail and silvery on a cool not-summer night.
No, I am not flailing
I wait patiently for those words to melt away
receding like an echo in a tunnel.
Soon the leaves will all turn red as blood
darkness will come early again I know
I will get up and run
Ambition be dammed
I lace up my shoes
Running is an addiction
you've heard about
the runner's high, the endorphin rush.
I go on about my business
clutching at lights in my hand
because the early morning looks like midnight
and I don't want to trip on the dark wet pavement.
I was warned that I would see posters of Boris Yeltsin
the placard bathed in bricks reading just the right amount of words
I was warned the image, like rays of sunshine, would burrow inside of me, fester clean, exit through the holes in my hands.
Well, they were(more) right.
Now the boards which stand tall in the orders give birth to the planks that gathering around my body, beneath the earth.(less)
Dopamine. The motivation chemical. Without a sufficient amount, we may not even be motivated enough to feed ourselves. B has this problem. Seems like he has since he was born. Kept at the hospital for weeks after birth, he could not breathe on his own.
Couldn't or wouldn't though? Don't all living things struggle to survive? Even when their toes are at the edge of the Golden Gate Bridge? Or the taste of metal electrifies the salivary glands?
I guess I'd be one messed up nancy if I assumed that a new born, helpless and dependent as they are, could actually have a problem with motivation and desire. So do these problems happen by nurture then?
There's that old topic again.
Regardless of how it happens, B is lazy. Whether you connect that with his dopamine level, is your choice. And his. Talk about an easy scapegoat.(less)