Decide to try the Neil Diamond -- I was already considering it (the melodrama, the swelling to near bursting) when I read it in someone's blog. But the words are distracting (what's he singing about...lovers again but what exciting(more) lovers. Running on beaches and such, I can see them tackle playfully. I've never chased a lover down a beach, but then again I'm more of a lie-in-wait kind of girl.) the words distract and I can't type anything.
Back to my film score Pandora station -- uneven but I'm working on it, adding the Morricone helped -- I'll have to run through the Diamond a few times in regular-time before I can do anything useful with it, before it sits well-behaved in the background without knocking me around. It will be just about perfect, that horror-writer-guy has something here, the emotion welling to overflowing like what you find in a good film score. So back to the Pandora and that's that.
The sun is crawling out of the lakes and pulling itself up over the housetops, which means I shouldn't be up. It's taken me four years off-and-on of trying to get up and grab time before the house stirs and the day starts and everyone needs something. Energy shots are key. An expensive habit and today I downed the whole thing instead of rationing half. An extravagant experiment, especially since I turned off the alarm in my sleep and have little time.
I'll get nothing done on the story that is sitting on my chest, an evil cat stealing my air. This is how it goes badly. Every time I sit down to work it's like trudging through mud. On a treadmill. A mud treadmill.
I know about work. I know about focus, about dedication, about time. I know about dreaming and making reality. I know about being frustrated, wanting things to move faster, happen sooner. I know that hard work is hard work. I know it is often unsung and when it is(more) sung, you've been doing it for so long, you gave up on anyone singing your tune. I know about late nights, about early mornings. I know about sitting in one place when others are out. I know about wanting more than a 9 to 5. I know about the unrelenting need to leave that behind. I know how to do the hard work. But, gosh, it is hard work. (less)