Today is my wedding anniversary.
As usual,I'm the only one who remembers.
I know I should be used to it,from what I know about marriages it seems like men seem to have a tendency to forget some of those 'important dates'.
In our case though, our anniversary is th(more)e same date his mother died.
He remembers that today is the anniversary of his mother's death. Yet somehow he still forgets it's our wedding anniversary.
The day we got married I had to wake him up so we could make it to the Mayor's office on time.
There were no flowers, no carrying over any thresholds, no honeymoon, just the repeating of vows and an exchange of gold bands which I purchased myself.
We went out to dinner after making it official and he drank enough to pass out as soon as we got home.
I spent my wedding night reading a book, ironically it was a bodice-ripping romance, the kind where men were written as cold yet passionate.
My husband has the cold down pat.
After we moved in with his mother for six months more than fifteen years ago, the dynamics changed. Where once upon a time I was near the top of the list, somewhere amidst the clutter, I was dropped off the list completely.
I just was.
I was the one who cleaned, cooked, an unpaid un-glorified secretary turned caretaker of a woman who hated me and made no secret of it.
One night,I asked to God to send me a sign concerning my so-called marriage,if she made it through the following day, our wedding anniversary,that would mean our marriage had a chance.
There were two deaths that day.
He never noticed that I stopped wearing my wedding ring nearly five years ago.
And he still hasn't.
It was just one of those days. Those days when you can't really do anything, and it's not because you don't want to, it's because you just, for whatever reason, can't muster up the will or energy to do it.
Yes, it was one of those days. (more)I knew I had to get stuff done, but I had spent so much energy doing things that went wrong, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was having a furious battle with myself the entire day.
One side told me, "Get up off your lazy butt and do it! Don't think about it, just do it!"
The other side didn't say anything. It just put duct tape over the mouth of my other side, the side that wanted to get stuff done.
I went to sleep that night having gotten nothing done.(less)