In an hour and a half, I will arrive at chemo. Right now, I'm sitting in this coffee shop--typetriggering, working on my novel a little, maybe reading my book--then I'll take the bus to the hospital. Usually a friend drives me--she's someone I met at my local park, actually--we(more) got to talking about our dogs, then about other stuff, and when she found out I was taking the bus to chemotherapy, she said, "You don't need to be doing that! I'm retired, I have the time to drive you to the hospital!" And since then, she's been driving me. But I called her last night and said, "Bobbi, tomorrow I'm not going from home, and I'm not going home afterwards--I can get myself to chemo, okay?" I thought she'd argue with me, but she didn't, and I was relieved, and so here I am, and soon I'll take the 75, and then I'll probably take the 19, even though it's only nine blocks and usually I'd walk that instead of waiting. But I'm tired a lot these days, though doing so much better than I could be. So, that's the plan.(less)
That was a compliment I'll never forget. It was given when I was sixteen. I was at a party.
It was given by a guy older than I was at the time. He was always hanging ou(more)t at our parties. I don't recall his name or why he was always there. He didn't speak to me before. Or ---- after he said it, for that matter. He said it and just walked away.
I don't know why this trigger triggered that memory. But I do know I do my best still to light up every room when I arrive. (Did I end that sentence correctly?) Whether it be doctor's office, party, grocery store, my own bathroom...
A moment to slightly change topic:
My mother lacks confidence so desperately. I feel so bad for her. She is so wonderful and she doesn't know it. Her expression show that lack of confidence. She looks angry when she isn't. You have to get to know her before you realize how kind she is.
I want my kindness noticed before you get to know me. I told myself that no matter what life throws at me (and life throws it alright - at times I feel like I am always walking past life's pissed off monkey's cage) I'll be sure to wear a soft expression (if not a smile) and hold my head high (not too high - to be mistaken for snobbish). I will walk with a posture that shouts, "APPROACHABLE" and a stride that gently states, "I know where I am going." Even if I feel crabby and have no idea where I am. (less)