My arm was touched in casual pass,
You thought I did not know.
The warmth you left behind, beneath,
The touch I did not show.
(more) For in my heart my love I hide,
I want you not to see
Without those touches on my arm,
How lonely I would be.
October 4, 2008
This was written for some one at work that would quite often come up behind my desk and place her hand on my shoulder. That hand would greet me hello, show 'I'm here', or perhaps say good bye with a gentle squeeze. Quite often with no words exchanged. It was indeed a cherished touch
I've spent little time thinking of the word cherished or even trying to let it sit in my mind. It's not a word that just rolls off the tongue. Actually, it makes my tongue swell.
"Can't we go and do something? Anything?" my wife asked
I ignored her.
(more) My eyes glazed over the T.V. and the voices faded to snowy static. I was transported back to when my best friend died with me trying to waking him up, not wanting to believe that the tree branch through the windsheild would be his silencer.
We were on our way back home from a camping trip. The two of us quiet lovers, my wife unaware. It was an accident between me and Trevor. We found out only two months before the accident that we had something more. It was a drunken confession I made to him.
Ever since he came out I had started to question myself and the choices I had made. I admitted to wanting to know if we were only friends or maybe more.
Seeing his shirt soaking up his blood, his head cocked to the side but his eyes staring into me, I was lost. My wife was at home but the person I never wanted to be without was dead next to me. I didn't care who saw me clinging to him, or kissing his cooling cheeks or lips. My fingers brushed through his hair, and my tears broke free. Trevor helped me find who I am.
I tried harder to focus on the T.V. and the noises it made but my wife's voice butted in, "You're doing it again. I said can we go do something?"
Bored by her and knowing I didn't want to live a lie I told her we were done.(less)