My Aunt Solveig (pronounced Solvay) believed every day was the last day of her life. There has never been a Norwegian more prepared for the Rapture. According to stereotype, we are grim creatures more likely to grimace than smile. Arms crossed, yet meek, we don't buffalo our way into anywhere.(more) Aunt Solveig was not true to type. She knew the Lord Jesus Christ was coming momentarily and held Him to it. She was cheerful yet royally pissed off when, day after day, He didn't show up.
It was embarrassing. Every day her house was immaculate. She set her table for the Lord with fresh linen and flowers. Aunt Solveig coveted the idea that even God would halt His divine plan for some of her leftsa, a Norwegian pastry, that he would sit at her table and linger for a bit before flying her and her family to heaven.
It's a funny thing about religion. When carried to its extreme, you can look pretty nuts. Aunt Solveig's four children grew up with impeccable manners because she told them they might wake up and be talking to angels. Having lived in expecting-company-tidiness every moment of their lives, they were all very tidy, except for one who rebelled and went the other way. One remained a Theist, two became Atheists, and the last pretty much became a Nut like her mother.
It's a lonely life being a religious mystic in Everett. After she got her kids off to school, urging them always to be careful because cars might suddenly become unmanned, my aunt cleaned her already-clean house, set table, and holed up in her dining room, listening to the clock tick, waiting. What did she think every day in her "last" moments? "I'm ready. Where in the hell are you?"(less)
I thought I might apply for health insurance through my work but it seems a bit pricey. Still, I'm drawn to all the terms; Catastrophic, death and dismemberment, term life, floater, earned premium, residual benefit, gross leverage, the lexicon is undeniably cool.
(more) Maybe I should just get a job as an insurance agent, or rather, an adjuster. Not knowing what that might entail, I imagine it would involve me walking into dimly lit bars and announcing, "I'm the adjuster!"
Maybe I would whisper it to the bartender. In any case, I'm sure it would be covered in my training, hopefully in the form of a tri-fold pamphlet or even better yet, a half hour, independently produced video (on vhs).