it comes back so easily
not like a flood
it doesn't come flooding back
it was always there
the devastation after the flood
(more) "take your hands off the wheel
there is no steering a course
there are no brakes
bracing for the crash will only
make it worse"
the thought of her words
and I am swept into undertow
seaweed wrapping my legs
her current forces my eyes open
salt and sand blister my retina
"you are not ready
she will bind your arms behind you
breath with her
open your burning eyes
show her the flames
don't extinguish anything"
i remember now
even things i never knew
it all comes back so easily
"stop trying to finish this story
it is writing itself
Seeing how I've been called a "throwback" I'm going to embrace my "throwback-ness" and admit that my all-time favorite album is Bob Dylan's Blood on the Tracks. This album is full of poetry but it is also considered by many to be one of the most angry, bitter break-up(more) albums ever written.
However, not every song on the album is angry. "Shelter from the Storm" is pure romance. "Rosemary, Lily, and the Jack of Hearts" is a great story. If I were a filmmaker I would make a movie out of it. Taking a peak at Wikipedia it seems that much has already been written about this song so I'll leave it for now. But if you want my take on it, just buy me a beer and I'll be happy to ramble on about it sometime.
So here's another reason why I like this album: It reminds me of a particular time in my life, and it brings back good memories. It reminds me of driving through eastern Oregon, in the high desert, late one summer. A small group of us were taking part in a two-week field ornithology course, at Hart Mountain Antelope Refuge.
This area was incredibly remote. It was wildness to the nth degree except for the cattle. Apparently the cattle ranchers of eastern Oregon had a deal with the Bureau of Land Management that allowed them to graze on public land. So everytime you thought you couldn't get more off the beaten track there would be a gate and a sign asking you to close the gate after driving through, and the corrugated metal of a cattle guard in the road in case you forgot.
I know I have to bring this back to Bob Dylan somehow. I'll listen to a Bob Dylan cd later.
I hear that song now, and it does nothing to me. That never used to be the case. I remember the first time I heard it. I cried for the first time in what felt like forever that day.
We're still friends now, but I don't think I'll(more) ever trust you as much as I did then. I gave you a piece of me, and you left me broken and bleeding when I was done.
For all the pain you put me through, for all blood I shed to this very day, I still can't bring myself to hate you. You did help me through a rough part of my life, and I can definitely say that my transition would have taxed us.
I will forever love you, no matter how much it hurt me to see you with him. But I'm also really beginning to see: It was all for the best. I couldn't take the steps to be the woman I am today if I had you by my side. So in a weird way, I guess I should thank you (less)