When their blood-soaked exam results slide onto their desks, they don't feel it.
When they stare into space instead of at the equations in the slideshows, they don't feel it.
(more) When they check their cards and their wallets and realize that they have less than a day's worth to survive on for the rest of the month, they don't feel it.
When they walk into the sunlight having had nothing but a glass of water for breakfast and a spritz of cologne for a bath, they don't feel it.
But when she stands up and screams as her favorite band walks onstage, she remembers.
When he falls from the plane and into the sky with nothing but a backpack and a pullstring, he remembers.
When she flies across the sea, gripping the throttle and savoring the salty spray in her face from every split wave, she remembers.
When he chases his younger siblings and pet dogs around the backyard and ends up rolling after them over freshly mowed lawns, he remembers.
And whenever I chance upon a bit of your sunshine, even in an ice-cold lecture room full of listless souls, I remember.(less)
Fear is perhaps the single strongest emotion that a human can feel. It trumps love by a longshot. The biggest reason why people hold on so tightly to one another is from fear of being alone. For most people, even day to day activities are dictated by the consequence(more)s of failing to do what they feel they need to accomplish.
These aren't the only types of people. There are many that aren't so afraid, they live in the moment not thinking about things, almost unable to feel the fear with which most people burden themselves. But they too can feel petrifying fear provided the right stimulus. A creak in middle of the night. A spider in the corner of the room. A horror story. Darkness. Yes, even the hardest men are scared of something. Threaten him and he may not even flinch. Tie him down, slit his wife's throat infront of him and tell him his boy is next? Well, then there would be fear. At some point there has to be. Without fear a man isn't really a man. Nor a beast. Nor anything else that is fully comprehensible to the human mind. Without fear, one cannot be truly alive.
They fought often. Viciously, without a thought of mercy or guilt.
She would not admit it, but the only time she felt she mattered to him was when they fought. When she tossed her scorching words at his back and watched him shrivel in contempt and rage. Whe(more)n she was held against the wall by her arms, his hands clenching her wrists so tightly they left bruises. She felt thrilled, amused, entertained by the way his green eyes caught fire and his lips spewed a thousand curses upon her.
He would not admit it, but he enjoyed her attention. It did not matter the ways he got it, so long as he did. Whether she tore at his cheeks with her nails or snarled biting words into the flesh of his neck. Whether she trailed kisses down his jaw or bruises down his back. Whether she hated him or loved him. None of it mattered, as long as she gave him her attention. As long as she looked at him with those icy eyes.
It was a bad habit the two of them have gotten into. Unhealthy. Lethal. On more than one occasion, one or both were at the mercy of the other, begging to keep their lives. At times, they wanted to end their little deadly game. But what fun would there to be had if the game ended?
And so they continued.
Neither would admit it to the other, but the only time either felt truly alive was when in the company of the other. She, because she's too prideful; and he, because he didn't want her to leave him.
For to leave him would be the greatest punishment she could ever give him. Without her, he would feel lost, hopeless. So he shall never admit his secret.(less)