I want to write in the 'I have a friend' trig but I'm getting all feelsy.
The sentences don't feel right, like they don't have the emotional depth I want to share. About a friend who keeps me grounded. Tells it like it is and doesn't mince words(more) when he knows he shouldn't.
I have a friend who I respect beyond measure. Not only because he's a good father, without ever really knowing his. Nor just because he's a good man. Not only for his desire to stand behind the things he believes in with more vigor than anyone I've known before.
I respect him because he gives me motivation to move forward and be more. He looks at me and can say with confidence that he believes I am a good man. He doesn't say I told you so. I can turn to him and share the most banal and stupid concept, and we can discuss it to no end as though it actually matters.
I have a friend who I would call my brother.
But we are. Because at lunch, he lets me sit at his table and one time when I trying not to cry after math class, he handed me a tissue.
Sometimes while we'r(more)e sitting at the lunch table, I make up a little story in my head. What are you reading, is what I ask him first. Because he always has his head in this same book, even though he doesn't really look like the type who would read.
He responds that it's his favourite book and I tell him that I've never heard of it. And then he tells me that one of the characters looks like me. I give him a puzzled look and he tells me it's because she's beautiful.
Other times, I imagine he's reading his own work (he looks like a writer) and he tells me that he's written down an entire epic adventure and would I like to read some of it?
To that, I always say yes.
I have hundreds of these scenarios playing in my head contemplate my peanut butter sandwich. I try to catch his eye, but he never looks up.
Yesterday, after the bell rang, he placed the book he had been reading in front of me. He didn't say a word though. Just slid it across the table, got up and walked away.
In math class later, I caught his eye and he gave me a small smile.
I have this friend... he talks to me when the rest of the world is too loud. He tells me to watch out, and likes to point out all the mistakes that I make, and the past paths I have trended where the ground is to worn, he enjoys when(more) I fail.
I have this friend. He tells me of the world, and the evils of people. His voice is familiar like an old jacket, or a comfort blank. The baritones dance through my mind and replay over and over until it is etched on my thoughts, his perception of how tainted everything is.
I have this friend, I don't know where I would be without him, he reminds me of everything that I want to forget, but I need to learn from. He is the oldest friend I know.
Sometimes we fight. Sometimes I win. But I have this friend, and without him, things seem empty.(less)