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you remember being 26
and assessing the other women
on the elevator, wondering
when they decided to give up, when
they started wearing comfort flats
and stopped checking to see (more)
first there was lasagna
and then an old swimming pool
a coincidence of ironing boards
and wet shirts

after that there was a slip (more)
however many words there are for sorry,
i wasn't ready, i might never be,
you're haunting me

won't get you to return my emails or
throw a bottle into the atlantic or send (more)
i'm having one right now
every cold a curse
i'm sure i've earned
in some other life;
hours spent online
searching for others
who've fought and (more)
it's less about
what she's saying
and more how
he's listening,
shark eyes on
starfish mouth (more)
oh cloud hovering
in afternoon sky
my endless thanks
for your blight

on this sunny day (more)
standing in the shower
crying to "disintegration"
imagining the first dance
of someone else's wedding

skin is barely
hung over my
bones, thrift-store
sheet over wind
chime clatter and
tangles of string (more)
sometimes i'm surprised by
how easy it isn't
it doesn't make sense to
look at personal ads
for other women,
women who seem like
they'd be better suited
for you, who chose LA (more)
when he said
"another round,
it's my birthday"
i could only
roll my eyes
because, come on (more)
is there really no way
to have you removed
from my dreams? no
drugs or hypnosis,
years of intense therapy,
constant journaling and (more)
something about kings:
they always get to decide
what's for dinner,
even if you've had steak
six nights in a row and
you're pretty tired from (more)
the chickens next door are
screaming into their wire and
wood and the coming of the
night to their home,
another thing they can't control
from their coop where (more)