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jennie
SEND NOTE
Too many cigarettes and too many nights walking home alone or with someone whose hand doesn't quite fit into mine, together only in the comfort of not being alone for a moment, or maybe just getting to be alone with someone else--sometimes it's hard to tell the difference.
Won't you, darling
Notice all the bad things I do,
I shazam all the pop songs at the bars,
My knees lock and my shoulders tense up when I dance,
I put work in front of studying,
In front of my life, (more)
My 6th grade diary,
The bottle of wine under my bed,
The first and second Ryan,
The only Sam,
That finished pack of cigarettes,
The letter she wrote me, (more)
The two of you would be friends.
You both quiet down to listen to the sound of records spinning,
Know what it's like to get abandoned in a fight,
Breathe smoke like it's air and air like it's wasting away,
Kinda like you,
And yet you both like to(more)
The ending
Is but the beginning
For all the many wonderful things to come,
I whisper to myself, over and again.
I had never felt truly renewed
Until you kissed
Every last inch of my body.
Dazzled by the ideas of you,
Startled by the thoughts in my head,
These words are meaningless to me now,
The stories I tell are overrun.
I will not captivate my madness for you.
Loveliness,
Which you can capture in me in a sentence,
But take away just as quickly as you give it.

I'm glad that spaces pulled us away, (more)
With you, I would shake off my tendernesses.
Sometimes I stare out into a moment for too long and I long for you,
I feel this pull from gravity and it pushes me down,
Down into you,
Or it pulls me down in guilt, (more)
I'm sorry we were each others' pile of dreams.
I'm sorry I couldn't find it in myself
To be strong like you,
To push through pain like you,
To take all the good in my life
And make it mine. (more)
I am the hidden one
Dark shadows of sheer sweetness
Falling effortlessly down your graceless spine
I follow your lines
And trace a shape
Of destined hollowness
You > Me
I > This
Together, we > Us
Forgetting = Our greatest bliss

We write love letters mostly for ourselves.
Everything I had to say to you
I mostly needed to hear myself.

We are beautiful dreams,
But those are just pictures in our minds. (more)
I want you to just appear,
Appear to me after strange dreams,
I want to wake up from the dream of my life and
Be in bed next to you.
A moment for myself.

Sweet, tired, indecisive,
The same cycle of overused jargon,
I don't count seconds
But I perceive in thirds of time. (more)