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cuttlefishSQUISH
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my heart has been torn to shreds by the wolves.

They circle endlessly in my chest, always

pacing, back and forth, 'round and 'round.
(more)
Of all the things that might have been, the one I regret the most is never having gotten to know you.

I know vague generalizations. Your looks, your overly loud and opinionated self --  the persona you wear like as both a mask and shield.

But what lies(more)
Maybe someday I should really call you out on what you keep offering.

By 'really call out', I mean match you with an action corresponding to your words. I've been too kind, and question you with words, or with looks, to which you seem to wake up and(more)
it feels like a
rope
writhing, weaving its way
around my body,
beginning at my gut --
(more)
As much as I want to, I can't bear to look you in the eye.

We're still sitting at the table, as we have been for the last couple of hours, talking. It's going well, save for the awkward tension that has slowly been wrapping itself around us.(more)
And then there was the guitar --

A single, shimmering, hesitant note sounded through the air, as though asking permission.

Silence followed. . . . (more)
"I'm fine."

Your raised shoulders, narrowed eyes, and slight frown all say the opposite.

I inhale -- do I  want to stay silent, as is the norm, or do I want to push for answers? Trying to get honest answers from you when it comes to yourself i(more)
I look at you, and I wonder if happy endings do really exist.

You've been around a couple of times and boy, do you have stories to tell! Even years after I've heard them, they still make me chuckle. . .

You're rather vibrant and enthusiastic, and(more)
One key for the future, one for the past.

Both lay firmly in your hands.

Going back means traveling the same road twice, at the cost of  what, in time, may shed light.

--

Would you rather repeat old nightmares or discover new ones?

(All(more)
I can't help but to keep moving forward, no matter how bleak the situation, no matter how unlikely a satisfactory end is.

I am always there, silent but present, and perhaps underestimated and unnoticed by and large. I see no need for theatrics, for grand (but ultimately empty)(more)
I gave myself willingly -- jumped into 'us', into 'you' -- and paid the price.

It wasn't enthusiasm and joy, but desperation and misery; the need to be loved by somebody or anybody to the point where I would take the least that you had offered and treated(more)
I'm constrained, and it's making me feel anxious.

For every attempt I make to move forward, I feel something  of equal and opposite force holding me back -- never more nor less than what I put out, but exactly equal.

At first, I ignored the feeling, and trie(more)
I'm curled up on your couch on a Tuesday night, two pillows underneath my head, and a blanket pulled up so high all you can see are my eyes. The glasses sitting askew on my face are the cherry on top. I burrow deeper into the couch with a(more)
I've clearly committed some sort of faux pas if the glare you're giving me is any hint.

I shrug it off and smile at you, and toss a small wave in for good measure, but to no avail -- you're still glaring determinedly at me.

I w(more)