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Before moving North, I pictured how life would be there, and began to look forward to it. From the red-black pulse of a dirty life, I pictured how things could be different.

My life was night shifts, insulting rents, weariness and addiction. But I could picture how lif(more)
I was 15. I was young. My first crush was Captain Nemo in "20,00 Leagues Under the Sea." Plus, I wanted to own something. I bought an aquarium. It ended horribly.  

At 15, I thought I was elderly. I was smothering in life. I was too stupid to(more)
She was rarely happy but she also rarely cried. She was my mother.

Some secret grievance with the world had worked her face into shapes that were not beautiful. Lines ran from her nose to her chin that suggested tears carving a passage over time. Her blue eye(more)
Sometimes I think about downgrading my job, or - more accurately - taking on a secondary, much different job. It would be like assuming a disguise. The economic equivalent of stepping into a phone booth to change clothes, emerging and walking around in a different context where no one(more)
Downtown Vancouver, on Friday afternoon - a blazing sunny Friday in April. The throng on the streets comes as a shock; I don't always leave the house on my days off, which occur randomly. Seeing everybody out bustling my heart kicks like a caged dog chasing rabbits in its(more)
We were a family of wrenching anxiety and hidden scribblings, prayers and other secrets, yet in our need to know more than was good for us we intruded on each other always. We didn't respect locked doors. We fought to have the last word, even if it was only(more)
In grade 2 we learned about Sadako and her 1000 paper cranes. Sick with leukemia, she'd become obsessed with folding. Accomplishing 1000 paper cranes would buy her life back. Her atom bomb disease would reverse itself and she'd get to leave her hospital bed and walk back into everyday(more)
The old hotel by the ocean is being gutted, its walls torn off like wings from an insect, the skeleton left open to wind and roosting birds. The concrete-and-rebar spine has been left to support whatever expensive, reimagined new condos will be bolted on. Soon the vintage holiday rooms(more)
I'm melting. So fat at the edges I'm like a grilled cheese oozing out of its bread. Breathless with distaste whenever I see myself by accident. Heart skips a beat when I think about how lost I am, how far I have to go to even be normal. I(more)
Poor man's dollar is spent before he earns it. Life a cascading array of what he should be doing, could be doing - a better life watched from afar, stranded in a dream-life where no one wants to be. Real life glittering past the window of a fast-moving train(more)
He got up off the couch when he heard keys in the lock.  

No-one else had keys to his apartment. He wasn't expecting anybody.    
Today is shit and this is already a fact at 2 am., 4 a.m, 5 - whenever the brain has a hiccup and wakes up, gasping for air the way it happens in sleep lately. Heart feeling too fat. Body breaking down, not that anything can be proven in(more)
His girlfriend slept at last, her pale cheek on his rolled-up sweater. It was not raining. He kept his shell on, cuffs tugged around his hands for added protection against the chill. He wanted a coffee! And Timmie's was just 30 feet away. He couldn't leave her. She had(more)
It was a dream of a wedding. Not a wedding of the real world where there is divided feelings, doubt, boredom, and dread. It was a dream wedding of beauty.

In the dream, she followed her best friend down the street. A playful chase. A destination on mind(more)
What you need more of:
drugs & drink
reasons (to stay, to leave, to abandon)
coffee (more)